Let the journey be shaped by the curiousity of the child…
It stands for Intra-Uterine Growth Restriction. IUGR is explained here.
Our Microbaby is below the 10th percentile for a baby’s gestational age (meaning that 90% of babies that age weigh more). Our little one is also referred to as “small for gestational age,” or SGA.
First of all the doctors and we ourselves thought that we tend to have smaller babies. Our two first boys were small in size at birth, but their weight was average with 7 pounds or 3250 gram.
It could be that the due date is not calculated correctly. In our case that is not the case
High altitude might be a reason, which is more likely.
And than we have the stress factor of Mom, which can play a role. A lot has been happening since I became pregnant. We travelled internationally and were away from home for 3 months. I had surgery while being away, maybe you remember last year’s accident after Thanksgiving, because I had more faith in the Dutch Surgeon and she happened to do the wrong surgery. And my husband learned that the project he is working on will continue without him after Christmas. All freelancers have to leave. I think this brings me the most stress and I already tried to help him, ask help for him, ask around etc. Just to relieve this stress in me. I got lots of positive reactions to the help asking part and a negative one. Ouch!
All I want is some peace and quiet and a healthy baby. For now I’m trying to contribute by sharing affiliated links. So please click on those.
On Boxing Day, last Saturday, I had to undergo a 3-hour glucose test. The normal test came back elevated and gestational diabetes, could impact the baby too. Luckily the 3-hour test came back negative. As did the test for possible viruses etc.
What the doctors at the perinatal center and the ob-gyn told me is that they expect the growth delay is due to a not good functioning placenta. Which means that they don’t know how long it will be sufficient for the baby. Every week now, I have appointments. Either at the OB-GYN or at the perinatal center. And starting from week 32 I will have bi-weekly baby stress-test (ctg).
If (when) they see that the umbilical cord flow is getting worse or the amniotic fluid is not sufficient, we (the doctors and we as parents) have to make a decision. Where is the baby better of, inside the uterus? Or is it better for the baby to be born earlier.
I hope that I will be able to carry full term and that the baby is healthy. They are preparing us for a really small dysmature/premature baby. However, my OB-GYN did set a date for the scheduled c-section, no choice there, but again she doesn’t expect that we will make that date. Wouldn’t it be a miracle if at the end everything is fine! Praying to the Gods and Goddesses for that.
Oh, all these insecurities.
At the moment I am extremely tired. My husband made very long days towards the end of the project and I wasn’t able to fall asleep before he went to bed. Really annoying!
I feel like I am getting depressed. I don’t want to be, but I feel so sad. It helps to look at my boys. But I also noticed that I am not patient at the moment. I can’t cope with the chaos, since chaos is going on inside of me, inside of my head. I don’t have any control over this baby’s growth and I am poorly handling it. What I did do is starting to work on my birth plan.
I am lucky to be surrounded by a couple of friends. And I do have good, happy days. The depression feels like a dark cloud which has been casting a shadow for weeks.
I talk to Microbaby to connect with this little one. Sending love and light. All I feel is this silent voice saying: “Slow down mama!” Which is a change from a couple of weeks ago when our little one asked for a name.
I have a need for peace and quiet, a need for a nice relaxed rhythm and I work very hard to achieve that. But I also feel very alone in this current pregnancy. And again, that makes me sad.
Our boys are doing great. The rhythm that I have been working on works very well for them and they seem happy. I don’t want to burden them with the condition of the baby, but they do hear what doctors are saying and feel free to ask the questions they have. I feel so lucky that they do. At the moment only Miniman is really busy with the baby in Mommy’s tummy and Maximan just hopes that everything will be fine. Today he said he can’t wait for the baby to be born.
It feels like this season with the Solstice is exactly what we need. Turning inwards, enjoying the slow quiet pace, being able to be there for me and the boys, give myself empathy and let the child inside of me be little. Just be!